Woe is Me
Alack the Day!
Are you bored, so bored? Have you been reading books so realistic they may as well have been the newspaper, or (gasp!) your own autobiography? Are you looking for stories of suspense, heroism, villainy, and grave danger?
Look No Further!
I now present a list of books with only the most humorous humor, ironic irony, and dramatic drama. But be warned! Read of these over-the-top travails with great caution, lest you find yourself in the grips of their sneakily addictive powers. Dah-dah-DAAAAH!
The Willoughbys by Lois Lowry
In this tongue-in-cheek take on classic themes in children's literature, the four Willoughby children set about to become "deserving orphans" after their neglectful parents embark on a treacherous around-the-world adventure, leaving them in the care of an odious nanny.
The Templeton Twins Have an Idea by Ellis Weiner
Abigail and John, the Templeton twins, and their dog Cassie, foil a pair of inept kidnappers intent on stealing one of their father's newest inventions
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
James tries to escape his miserable life with two nasty, ill-tempered aunts and, in the process, manages to transform himself into a hero
A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket
After the sudden death of their parents, the three Baudelaire children must depend on each other and their wits when it turns out that the distant relative who is appointed their guardian is determined to use any means necessary to get their fortune.
The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
After passing a series of mind-bending tests, four children are selected for a secret mission that requires them to go undercover at the Learning Institute for the Very Enlightened, where the only rule is that there are no rules.
The House With a Clock in Its Walls by John Bellairs
A boy goes to live with his magician uncle in a mansion that has a clock hidden in the walls which is ticking off the minutes until doomsday.
A House Called Awful End by Philip Ardagh
When eleven-year-old Eddie Dickens's sickly parents become "a bit crinkly round the edges," he is taken in by his great-uncle and great-aunt, Mad Uncle Jack and Mad Aunt Maude, and embarks on adventures that involve strolling actors, St. Horrid's Home for Grateful Orphans, and a carnival float shaped like a giant cow.
The Inccorigible Children of Ashton Place: The Mysterious Howling by Maryrose Wood
Fifteen-year-old Miss Penelope Lumley, a recent graduate of the Swanburne Academy for Poor Bright Females, is hired as governess to three young children who have been raised by wolves and must teach them to behave in a civilized manner quickly, in preparation for a Christmas ball.
Michelle L. is a Youth Services Librarian who is thankful she's never had to flee an escaped rhino.